i am dating my cousin - Adoptee dating adoptee

Being adopted as a child and growing up with that knowledge was confusing.

Finding and reuniting with my natural family and handling all those emotions, is confusing. Relinquishment is a fortunate thing to happen to a mother or her child.

Sometimes extended family would say hurtful things in front of me. There were several fortunate things about my investigation that aided my search. It was misspelled in my grandfather’s obituary by one character. I won’t go into the details of our first meeting, but it was wonderful, absolutely one of the best things that has ever happened to me. At some point over a month into my reunion with my mother and maternal family I ordered and submitted my second DNA test with 23

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At this point, I don’t think that encouraging a mother to give up her child is EVER the right thing to do. I’m not angry at the family members that were likely encouraging and suggesting that relinquishment was the best thing to do. I’m angry at society for putting such pressures on people, for putting a stigma on unwed mothers, for treating woman that were at such vulnerable points in their lives so terribly.

I’m angry at Catholic Charities and all the other homes for unwed mothers that lost their way and implemented extremely negative and coercive tactics to get mothers to give up their babies. The players may have changed but the basics of the game are still the same.

One of the key differences in our scenarios was the reaction of Scott, our biological father, to the news that the girl he was dating was pregnant with his child.

In my sister’s case, he was attentive and wanted to marry.

I’m glad the final piece of my adoption puzzle has been put into place and I either know or have access to nearly all the information that I could want about my history. If I’m destined to have two mothers and love them both, so be it.

So now, how does it feel to be adopted, post reunion? I never imagined the floodgate of new and repressed emotions that would open with my reunion. People have multiple children and love them equally. Hurt: Once I had found and fallen in love with my immediate natural family, it hurt.My reunion is an extremely joyous and wonderfully life-changing event. Even though my reunion itself has been fantastic, how I now feel about being adopted isn’t all roses. It hurt to consider that I was robbed of the chance to know them for the first 46 years of my life.Guilt: One of the first things I had to conquer once I felt the connection to my natural mother was guilt. Were they looking down on me with approval or where they hurt? It hurt that this wonderful mother that I now know and love and get along well with did not raise me. I will deal with this emotion and it will lesson as I grow accustomed to my new reality.It can cost ,000 and more to adopt and healthy baby in the US and this needs to stop.I’m angry at the government that will not allow adoptees access to their own birth certificates.I will also get to know their spouses and I have another TWO nephews!

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