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Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships, e.g.among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one another.Cybersex is commonly performed in Internet chat rooms (such as IRC, talkers or web chats) and on instant messaging systems.

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Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed.

This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

Married couples walk a fine line between cooperation with each other and control of each other when it comes to sex.

You may want the help of a sex therapist to unravel this tangled situation and reassemble a situation that works for both of you.

Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.

First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.

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People assume that because they are with a person they know pretty well, they also know how their mate feels about these topics. Sit down with your husband to have this discussion.

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